A few strategies on dealing with tough days

I’ve been curious about how different people deal with difficult times in their lives. So I asked friends on Facebook how they deal with tough times. Here are the most interesting/popular ideas I heard back:

1. Talking to others. This was by far the most popular strategy. Some people liked talking to close friends and family, others found it refreshing to talk to strangers or folks who had almost no context about the situation they were dealing with. Some people preferred to lean on others to vent to and just unload their emotions, others found comfort in having discussions focused on problem solving.
2. Music, especially nostalgic music that can temporarily transport them to a different but familiar state of mind. Here are a few playlists/songs folks mentioned (lmk if you have additional suggestions):
   - Good vibes
   - Chaf (created by Akiff Premjee)
   - Infinite Indie Folk
   - Arijit Singh
   - Superman by Goldfinger
   - Jason Mraz
3. Exercise. A few workouts that others mentioned helped them: running, bicycling, yoga, pilates, weight lifting, Brazilian jiu-jujitsu, HIIT. Often times combining this with music worked pretty well. Looks like endorphins matter.
4. Creating art. This was a surprising one for me but several people found creating art (songwriting, poetry, painting, writing) helps them sort their thoughts.
5. Meditation. Meditation is helpful in that allows you to slow things down and observe your emotions with a more detached perspective, acknowledging that every feeling is ultimately impermanent. If you haven’t meditated much, I’d recommend checking out the Shambhala Centre (located in many cities across the world) or trying out Headspace. If you want something a bit more advanced, try transcendental meditation, a 10-day Vipassana retreat, or, my favorite, metta (loving/kindness) meditation. [1]
6. Taking a trip. Getting out can help break your existing routines/physical reminders and lets you get some space from especially difficult situations. Kayak’s Explore tool is an easy way to find cheap tickets for that spontaneous trip.
7. Revisiting old memories. Whether you have a journal you can look back on or just take a lot of photos on your phone (in which case use Google Photos), remembering old times can remind us of happier times and, like meditation, remind us of the impermanence what we are feeling in the moment.
8. Helping others. This could be charity work, helping a friend through their own situation, visiting a nursing home, or just smiling at someone on the subway. As my friend Eric Mogil puts it, “This all will remind you of your first context point, everyone is going through some sort of struggle. You can wallow or you can help others.”

Some of these (talking to friends, meditation), I already rely on. Some of these I know help but don’t have the discipline to do them (exercise) [2]. And some of these I just never thought of before (revisiting old memories, helping others). I hope this list can give you a little bit more ammo when you’re going through a tough time. And if you aren’t currently in a trough, perhaps this list can serve as a reminder to cultivate a few habits in preparation for that inevitable down cycle :)

[1] A few people said meditation doesn’t actually help them when dealing with tough times but more so as a preventative tool.

[2] These are especially difficult in tough times when you already have limited energy, underscoring the importance of building habits to reduce activation energy.

Thanks to Jasmine Kriston, Akiff Premjee, Varshil Patel, and all of my friends on Facebook who contributed to this post :)

I’ve been increasingly interested in mental wellness recently and hope to write a bit more about it. If you’d like to know when I publish a new post, sign up here.

And in case you’re interested, here’s the full list of ideas ranked by popularity:

1. Talking to loved ones
2. Music
3. Working out
4. Artistic expression
5. Meditation
6. Getting outdoors/nature
7. Getting on a plane and just going somewhere
8. Helping others
9. Watching TV/Netflix
10. Eating comfort food
11. Reading
12. Crying
13. Laughing
14. Writing out your issues
15. A hot shower
16. Revisiting old memories
17. Talking out loud to yourself
18. Listening to podcasts
19. An unexpected phone call
20. Getting easy tasks completed
21. Sleeping